The power of digging deeper with your relationships and how it will affect your life

Posted on Posted in Branding

The connection economy of today is very different from the industrial one we’re moving out of. Seth Godin has incredible insight into the future. He has long ago dubbed that we were moving into a new economy and many people never saw it. His exact words were “This recession is a forever recession.

To me, that means something awesome.

It means we get to recreate things. We get to redevelop processes and find new ways for business and life to work. We have the opportunity to do something our world has never been able to do since the beginning of time.

Building relationships are a key to success today.

I’m not just saying that

We can pull evidence from companies across the globe that have failed due to lack of engagement with people, individuals who have been passed up for jobs because they didn’t know the “right guy” and business that has flourished simply because they decided relationships where important.

Connection is an essential part to building a real relationship with people. I call this connection branding because the overarching term is that we are making a connection with people in one (or more) of three ways.

Building a relationship is just one way to build a connection.

I wish I could tell you I was always intentional about building relationships with people. I really do…but I simply can’t.

Intentionality is something we have to strive for and it’s very difficult to achieve. But the more intentional we are about the different aspects of our lives, the more we will grow in those areas.

Building relationships is something I strive to be more intentional about these days. That could be work, yes, but often just on a personal level. You see, the more we move into this connection economy, the more connections with people will become a vital part of success in any part of life.

We must build deep connections with anyone we want to have a relationship with. This definitely means our spouse. It means our children, our coworkers, our customer, employees and family members. It even means the people we have on our Twitter and Facebook accounts.

It has been said that we can only truly have 150 relationships. This comes from the research of a British anthropologist, Robin Dunbar. It’s called Dunbar’s number and says that we can only effectively build anywhere between 100 and 230 real relationships at any given time.

If that’s true, we need to be selective with who we dig deep with, but I have no doubt that if we dig deep with those relationships, we’ll be able to achieve mostly anything we want in life.

I’m a big believer in living the life of your dreams. That’s the core of everything I do because I believe that we were created by God and put here for an incredible reason. That we all have a purpose and it’s divine.

But relationships are something we can’t take lightly. We have to nourish them, grow them, work on them. They don’t just come about because we “like” a status on Facebook or wave to them when we see them in the store. Those aren’t relationships, those are just interactions.

And even that is probably stretching it.

The reason I mentioned Dunbar’s number is simply because we have to understand the power in connection. If we truly connect with 150 people at any given time, then we have have a remarkable impact in their lives, and they in ours.

These are not just surface level relationships, they are real, deep and truly beneficial relationships for both parties involved. This allows us to really build up rapport with people and help to add to each other’s lives in various ways.

To help you understand this power of building true connections, I want to delve into a quote that has stuck with me for some time. It’s from Jim Rohn and is short and sweet.

“Wherever you are, be there.”

Let that sink in for a moment. “Wherever you are, be there.”

In a world where we are all ADD and can’t seem to focus on anything for more than 3.5 seconds, this tells us something incredible. If I’m with my wife, I need to give her my full attention. If I’m at work, I need to give it my full attention. If I’m in church, I need to be worshipping fully.

Whatever it is, I need to be there, fully.

Apply it business. If a customer has a need, I need to address it, fully. If I have a deadline to meet, hit it perfectly. Will it happen everytime? No. Of course not. But we can be intentional about it. Just like we are about our relationships.

If I’m working to build a relationship with a potential customer, be there. Answer questions, offer suggestions, exceed expectations. Sadly, it doesn’t take much to exceed expectations these days. That gives us the edge in any relationship if we will just be intentional and pay attention.

The power of relationships is incredible. It cannot be overlooked when trying to build a connection with someone. There is no doubt that this particular Super Power is the easiest to apply, but the most difficult to remain on track and actually follow through.

People that use the power of relationships in their lives will grow astronomically.

Take Action

Is relationship building something you are being intentional about? Are you focused on building connections through this?

If relationships are your focus, stick with it. Maybe you prefer another Super Power to build connections, that’s fine. Just don’t neglect this one entirely.

What is one thing you can do today to dig deeper into one relationship? Tell us in the comments below.

Got a friend that needs this? Share it with them. They’ll thank you.

  • Scott Whitson

    Great thoughts, Jared! Relationship…be there…intentionality…yes!

  • I’ve had a couple of opportunities recently to invest in people by mentoring at work – and plan to follow up on that more formally in the next few weeks.

    • Great action plan Tom! Keep at it. Building true relationships are the way we grow these days!

  • I personally need to step out of myself. Sometimes I cherish privacy and “me” time. I think that is OK, on certain occasions. But we are created with an inherent need to connect and build relationships. I need to get me out of the way and communicate deeply to create and dig deeper into relationships.

    • I’m an introvert as well Juan. Sounds like we share that. I’d rather stay in on a Friday night reading a good book then hanging out “wasting” time with someone. But I’ve found that I really enjoy one on one chats with people over coffee…it helps me branch out and dig deeper into that relationship. You never know what will come of it either, that’s the neat part.

  • Reminds me of the saying “show me your friends and I’ll show you your future.”

    Who we allow into our lives shape us. We also need to make sure we are making others better and not bringing them down.

    We need to be intentional about edifying others. When we build others up, we are lifted up as well!

    • True that TC. Thanks for your input, it’s always valued.

      Stay awesome!

  • D’Anne Hotchkiss

    Every once in a while I encounter a person who consistently is 100% focused on the situation and the person at hand. It is amazing to watch the giving of the gift of presence and mindfulness. When I am on the receiving end, I remember the encounter for days. You are right, it is a habit that is difficult to cultivate and apply consistently, but it’s definitely worth the effort.

    • Very true. I bet you will start to recognize them more now that you have a name for it. And you’ll recognize the ones that aren’t doing any and realize they are probably headed down a not to good path.

      Thanks for stopping by, please let me know if I can help in anyway!